Who the Fuck Made The Rules?

There are rules fuckin everywhere...

Some are sensible.

Some keep us alive.

And some seem to exist purely because somebody, somewhere, once decided, "Yeah, let's make that a thing."

We learn rules long before we're old enough to question them.

Don't interrupt.

Don't be too loud.

Don't ask too many questions.

Say please and thank you.

Don't talk with your mouth full.

Don't wear white to a wedding.

Don't ask someone how much they earn.

Don't make people uncomfortable.

And whatever you do, don't make a decision that your aunt might have an opinion about at Christmas.

Some of these rules are useful. Some are basic manners. Some prevent society from descending into complete fucking anarchy.

But others are just habits we've collectively agreed to pretend are laws of physics.

And once enough people follow a rule for long enough, questioning it starts to look like the problem.

That's where things get interesting.

Because sometimes the rule isn't protecting you.

It's just protecting the status quo.

Rules Aren't the Problem

Let's not get carried away.

Rules aren't inherently bad.

Don't drive through a red light.

Don't steal someone's car.

Don't punch Dave from accounting because he ate the lunch you labelled "DO NOT FUCKING EAT" in the office fridge.

Some rules exist for very good reasons.

Rules create boundaries. They create predictability. They help large groups of people coexist without everyone behaving like they're auditioning for Mad Max.

The problem isn't rules.

The problem is blind obedience to rules that no longer make sense.

There's a big difference between:

"This rule exists for a reason."

and:

"This is just how we do things."

The first deserves consideration.

The second deserves a fucking question.

We Learn Rules Before We Learn to Question Them

Think about how many things you do simply because you've been taught that's how they're done.

You shake someone's hand.

You wear certain clothes to certain occasions.

You stand in a queue.

You sit in the same seat at work.

You use a particular process because that's the process.

You send an email instead of making a phone call because apparently that's what civilisation requires.

Most of the time, this is harmless.

But the same mechanism operates in much bigger areas of our lives.

A company keeps a process nobody can explain.

A family maintains a tradition nobody particularly enjoys.

A person follows a career path they don't want because questioning it feels irresponsible.

A group continues doing something because the person who originally suggested it left the company eight years ago.

And when someone finally asks:

"Why are we doing this?"

the answer is often:

"Because that's how we've always done it."

Which isn't an answer.

It's an admission that nobody knows.

The Rules We Don't Even Realise We're Following

The most powerful rules aren't always written down.

They're social expectations.

Don't be too ambitious.

Don't be too different.

Don't talk about money.

Don't admit you don't know something.

Don't leave a stable job.

Don't change your mind.

Don't disappoint people.

Don't challenge your boss.

Don't make someone else look bad.

Don't be the person who asks "Why?" in a meeting that's already been going on for ninety minutes.

These rules can be incredibly effective.

Not because they're enforced by law.

Because they're enforced by social consequences.

You risk being judged.

You risk being called difficult.

You risk making people uncomfortable.

You risk being the person who doesn't quite fit in.

And humans are remarkably good at avoiding those things.

We'll tolerate an extraordinary amount of bullshit just to avoid being the awkward person in the room.

The Workplace Is Full of This Shit

Work is probably where you see arbitrary rules at their finest.

There's the meeting about the meeting.

The spreadsheet that exists because of another spreadsheet.

The approval process that requires four people to approve something nobody actually cares about.

The weekly meeting where everyone agrees to do something and then meets again next week to discuss why nobody did it.

And if you ask why the process exists?

"Governance."

Ah.

Of course.

The magical word that apparently makes every unnecessary step legitimate.

Again, rules and processes have a purpose.

Controls matter.

Governance matters.

But a process shouldn't become sacred simply because it's old.

If nobody can explain what a rule achieves, perhaps the rule deserves another look.

Rules Can Become Comfortable Cages

Here's the really sneaky part.

Sometimes we don't actually want the rule to disappear.

Because rules can be comforting.

They tell us what to do.

They give us something to blame.

"I couldn't do it because that's the process."

"I would have tried, but that's not how things are done here."

"I'd love to change it, but that's just the policy."

Sometimes the rule isn't holding us back.

Our willingness to hide behind the rule is.

It's easier to follow a stupid rule than to take responsibility for challenging it.

Because if the rule fails, it isn't your fault.

You were just following the process.

Very convenient.

Very safe.

And occasionally very fucking stupid.

So Should We Just Break Every Rule?

No.

That would be ridiculous.

You don't need to become some tattooed anarchist living in a van, screaming "Fuck the system!" every time someone asks you to complete a form.

Some rules are worth following.

Some traditions are worth keeping.

Some structures exist because somebody actually thought the problem through.

The point isn't to reject rules.

The point is to understand them.

Ask:

Why does this rule exist?

What problem is it solving?

Is it still solving that problem?

What happens if we change it?

Who decided this was necessary?

And perhaps most importantly:

Would we create this rule today if we were starting from scratch?

That last question can be brutally effective.

Because sometimes the answer is no.

Breaking the Rule Might Be the Point

Progress rarely comes from everyone obediently doing exactly what they've always done.

Someone eventually asks a stupid question.

Someone challenges the accepted wisdom.

Someone says:

"Why the fuck are we doing it this way?"

And sometimes they're wrong.

That's fine.

Sometimes they're right.

That's where things get interesting.

The person challenging the rule isn't necessarily rebellious.

They might simply be paying attention.

They might have noticed that the world has changed while the rule hasn't.

They might have realised that something designed to solve yesterday's problem is now creating today's.

That's how organisations change.

That's how cultures change.

That's how people change.

Not by blindly following instructions.

By occasionally asking whether the instructions still make sense.

Fuck the Rules You Never Questioned

There will always be rules.

Some protect us.

Some guide us.

Some make life easier.

And some survive for no better reason than nobody has bothered to kill them.

You don't need to break every rule.

You don't even need to disagree with most of them.

But every now and then, stop.

Look at the thing you're doing.

Look at the process you're following.

Look at the expectation you're carrying.

And ask the question that makes people uncomfortable:

Why?

If there's a good answer, great.

Carry on.

If there's a reason that makes sense, keep the rule.

If the answer is:

"Because that's how we've always done it."

Well...

That's not a reason.

That's an invitation.

Fuck the rule.